2012 Review

2012

D

 

    This movie sucks. Plain and simple. That's right well I could go on and on about how bad this movie is in the intro to this review but well let's save the fun for the other parts of the review. So let's crank up the crap o meter and look at the pure terribleness that is 2012.

 

    Well where to start oh well I know the movie is 2 and a half hours long!!!! It's not bad enough that the main characters aren't developed at all but apparently we have to care about every body and there mom. Literally! Ok so here are the main characters there is some guy named Jackson Curtus played by Cusack and the main scientist dude named Dr. Adrian Helmsley played by little known Chiwetel Ejiofor. Why am I doing such a shoddy job with the so called "characters" because none of these characters are developed not one. This is where the movie really falls apart when they try to set up characters that you ultimately don't care about. It would be a waste of time for me to write (and you to read for that matter) who you ultimately won't care about and just die anyways.

    Props to Woody Harrelson though who plays the only interesting character in the whole movie. He plays Charlie a guy who has found out through all government conspiracy that this is going to happen. He is ultimately insane and pretty funny. Unfortunately he dies within the first hour.

 

    I swear there is no plot to this film. I bet this film took half an hour to write. It's like the writers said how can we make this film longer before we get to the next big repetitive action scene. I swear they "miraculously" escape 4 different plains/cars well the world is exploding behind them. Wow just wow. Trust me when I say this there are so many scenes that make you ask the question didn't I just see this 30 minutes ago? And god it just gets worse!

 

    I also swear that there are no characters in this film. As mentioned earlier the main characters are not developed. But the huge problem with this film is that they again make you care about characters that we see for about 10 minutes and then they die. Yay! Ya its bad.

 

    I could go on and on about how bad this film in but lets just say this. DO NOT GO SEE THIS FILM. IT SUCKS!! Evan for the special effects, there not even the best. Ya it's again that bad.

 

    

New Features

Summer is now over school is in session and I'm really busy. This also means that the movie count goes way down. With this a new feature is coming called video opinions. They are short reviews on older movies with scores of don't touch, rental, high rental, and buy. Also full reviews of all the Star Wars films are coming (just cuz) and maybe a fall preview (James Cameron's Avatar woo!). So stay tuned...

Summer Movie Awards 2009

Summer movie awards 2009

Another summer has come and gone and that means it is time to look back at the summer season and pick our favourite films from the mega season. This summer has been telling in many aspects from what people have been watching (cough cough big dumb action films) to the doping movie sales. So let’s look back on the 2009 summer series with the summer movie awards. (Note I have not scene all of the movies in the summer library including District 9 and Inglorious Bastards so do not flame me if your movie is not on the list.)

Best special effects
Winner: Transformers ROTF
Sigh Transformers 2 sigh yes it was disappointing and overall sort of bad but what saved this film from pure terribleness are the special effects. Michal Bay can do that enough said.
Runner up: G.I. Joe Rise of Cobra

Best Sci-Fi Film
Star Trek
Summer’s best Sci-fi is far and away Star Trek. The reboot needed to be great for the thinning out franchise to connect with a wide audience again and it hit the ball out of the park. Great effects, a good story that could go any where in the sequels to come and wonderful performances. Star Trek proved to be better than the Star Wars 1 and 2.
Runner Up: Terminator Salvation

Best Action Film:
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
While not close to being as good as the book it is based on (witch none of these films are) it was definitely better than all other action films of the summer. It was also the best Harry Potter Movie to date with good character development and a great middle chunk makes it far and beyond the best action movie of the summer.
Runner Up: (sigh) G.I. Joe rise of Cobra

Most overlooked/underrated film
Terminator Salvation
While not a masterpiece or even a great film Terminator did not deserve the press it got. IT GOT CRAPED ON!!!!! It was actually a good film but unfortunately no one saw it and most of the audience didn’t like it!! What!
Runner up Public Enemies

Best reboot
Star Trek
What more could be said it was a great reboot to a dead franchise. Nuff said
Runner up Terminator salvation
Best animated film
Up
No competition in this category. While not as good as last years Walle Up provided Pixar’s darkest movie ever with some really sad moments. Along with the sadness came the laughs though as UP provided also some really funny moments. Pixar is the best yet a gain and the second movie in two years to enter my top three computer animated movies of all time.

Worst film and most disappointing film
G force
Hey its guinea pigs what you expect. That’s what I was trying to tell myself well watching this film. But hey it’s Jerry Bruckheimer I have expectations!! Mind you... Anyways the movie sucks and boring and that is final.
Runner up Transformers ROTF

BEST FILM OF THE SUMMER
This is it the best of the best witch film takes top honour as best film of the summer

Nominees Public Enemies
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
Star Trek
Up

And the winner is...


Public Enemies
While not being mentioned before on this list Public Enemies is definitely the best film of the summer. I could rave on and on about the camera work the acting and how superbly engaging this film is but I’m not I’m just going to say that this is the best film of the summer and I recommend it to anyone.

Are Big mindless action movies taking over?

Wow looking at the last couple of weeks at the box office has been discouraging. Not just at the fact that the industry is dropping majorly but that look what's topping it! Big dumb action films! The Biggest grossing film of the year is going to be Transformers ROTF. That's not right! Well I can't control the box office taste this is ridiculous!!! I mean come on people! There are better films such as well Public Enemies and Up(to name a few) that well don't provide the number of explosion that these movies provide but these films provide story and actual characters. Call me weird or old fashion but I like those elements in my feature film!

G.I. Joe Rise of Cobra Review

G.I. Joe Rise of Cobra
B

The second big action blockbuster based on a Hasbro toy is here. G.I. Joe was a toy that spawned an animated show and comic series. Now the enviable movie is here. Can it be a good peace of entertainment or will it fail to do so like its brother Transformers 2?

First of all director Steven Sommers seemes to love CGI. He went crazy with it. It’s used through ought relentlessly. Providing some pretty awesome and may I say Michal Bay quality action scenes. From a car chase in Paris to a ninja sword fight he goes over the top in every scene. There are also a lot of action sequences in G.I. Joe and that for this film is a good thing.

As for the story. It’s actually decent! Not good or great by any means but even a decent story in these movies is great. The story is simple the Joes have to stop the organisation Cobra from (guess what) taking over the world. This is not it though as almost each character has a back story. The most important though is the side plot between the main Joe Duke (Channing Tatum) and one of the main villains Anna /the Baroness (Sienna Miller) who have a very weird relationship.

Performances are good. They all fit there characters pretty well. Sienna Miller’s character the Baroness is by far the best performance but over all the rolls don’t feel off at all.

Overall G.I. Joe Rise of Cobra is a good action film and a better film than its loud brother Transformers 2. Steven Sommers goes balls out with the action and has a way more straight forward and better plot than its predecessors. But that still doesn’t mean the plot is good or great and the characters while mildly developed are not explored enough. I wish in these loud and flashy films would do something more than make stuff go boom. Do something big like the Dark Knight did. But what can I expect it’s entertaining and is going to make more money than I will make in multiple life times. Better than it’s brother and entertaining but still I wish...

G Force Review

G Force
C-
Jerry Brochimmer is back with guinea pigs. You should not expect much from guinea pigs. That saying is true because G force is unfunny, boring and not worth your money.

Well where shall we start there are three secret agent guinea pigs and one secret agent mole. After there first mission they get shut down by the FBI but they all escape to a pet shop. Desperate to find and stop the evil guys plan to (guess what) take over the world they all try to escape the pet shop and prove the FBI wrong.

Ya the story is typical and stupid. It is uninteresting to anyone over ten and even than it’s boring.
As for the characters. The voices and acting are good but the characters are unfunny. The lines they are given are just so stupid and again any one over 10.
The special effects are good but not great. The guinea pigs are well animated and look real the action scenes are ok but not good. That’s disappointing because the director (Hoyt Yetman) has been doing effects for years.

G force is a disappointment but mind you its guinea pigs so what do you expect. Still kid’s movies should appeal to some older people in some way. This one dose not even give you a good laugh or even try to keep you interesting. G Force don’t waste your money.

G.I. Joe the day after impression

G.I. Joe rise of the cobra is here and it's better than transformers 2. The plot line while not particularly good is okay ya it's actually ok. The roles are played out pretty food. Also director Steven Summers dose a great job with the special effects and the action sequences witch are on par with the Michel Bay's scenes.